Influence often gets a bad rap. We think of “influencers,” sponsored posts, and overly filtered ads telling us what to buy.
But real influence, the kind that shapes behaviour (for good), is much quieter.
More human. And way more powerful.
You see it everywhere.
In your kids.
In your friendships.
In your clients.
And, yes, in yourself.
Case in point:
My kids are total opposites.
My daughter screams at the sight of a bug.
My son? He’d adopt one.
But lately, even he’s started hesitating. Not because he changed, but because her fear rubbed off on him.
That’s influence in its most natural form.
We absorb the behaviour, energy, and beliefs of the people around us…often without realising it.
And adults?
We’re not immune.
I’m about to turn 40 and almost bought an eye-wateringly expensive collagen mask simply because everyone online swore it was “life changing.”
Not the ad.
Not the claims.
The people.
Influence works, because of psychology, not marketing.
Let’s talk about why.
Why influence works (the psychology behind it)
1. Social Proof. We follow the crowd to feel safe.
Psychologist Robert Cialdini coined this in the 80s, but humans have been doing it forever.
When we see others using a product, praising a service, or backing an idea, we assume it’s good, or at the very least, socially acceptable.
It’s why testimonials matter.
It’s why referrals convert like magic.
It’s why you check restaurant reviews before you book.
We trust what other humans validate.
2. We’re more sceptical of advertising than ever.
Fifty years ago?
“New! Improved! Scientifically Proven!” could sell anything.
Today?
We’ve been burned by too many false claims, fake ads, and dodgy “miracle” products.
Consumers aren’t passive anymore.
We question everything.
We research.
We compare.
We scroll the comments.
We trust people. Not campaigns.
Which means:
If a stranger demonstrates genuine enthusiasm for something… it lands.
If a business tells us the same thing? We filter it through suspicion.
3. Identity bias. We buy from people who feel like us.
We’re drawn to people who reflect the identity we already have (or the one we want).
This is why founder stories matter.
Why brand voice matters.
Why personality in your marketing matters.
People don’t want a faceless business. They want someone who “gets it.”
4. Cognitive ease. We choose the path that feels easy.
If someone else has made the decision before us…
If someone else has already vetted it…
If someone else explains it in simple terms…
We trust it more.
Influence reduces effort.
Effort reduction increases action.
Every psychology textbook will tell you: humans default to the easiest path.
So… how do we use influence ethically in our business?
Here’s how to build genuine influence, the kind that helps your audience trust you before they ever buy from you:
1. Share your work (not just the polished result)
People don’t connect with perfection.
They connect with process.
Show:
- the behind-the-scenes
- the messy notes
- the thinking
- the evolution
- the “why” behind what you do
This builds trust faster than any campaign.
2. Share your success stories regularly
Not as bragging.
As proof.
Proof that your work works.
Proof that humans just like them saw results.
Proof that you can back your claims.
This is influence in its most ethical form.
3. Celebrate your clients publicly
Your clients are your best influencers.
Their growth is your credibility.
When you champion their wins, you build trust with your audience, and strengthen your relationship with them.
4. Don’t be afraid to be visible
It’s nice when people hype you…but it’s also okay to hype yourself.
Influence grows when you:
- show up consistently
- speak with clarity
- share your ideas
- take up space
- articulate your value
Invisible work can’t influence anyone.
5. And finally: give the influence you want to receive
Write the review you wish someone wrote for you.
Thank people publicly.
Refer people generously.
Engage thoughtfully.
Influence and referrals travel in circles.
The more you give, the more you spark.
Your tiny homework (yes, I’m giving you homework)
Pick one of these to do this week:
- Share a client success story
- Leave a review for a business you love
- Post something that shows your process
- Celebrate a client publicly
- Share something you’re proud of
Influence isn’t loud.
It’s consistent, human, and honest.
Use it with intention, and your marketing will go further than any trend ever could.
